On the latest episode of Celebrity Feud Theater, tech mogul Elon Musk claimed that Alec Baldwin (yes, the   30 Rock actor turned tabloid magnet) reached out to him with what can only be described as an    Oscar-worthy   performance of contrition. This unexpected turn comes after Baldwin’s not-so-subtle dig at Musk on The View,   where he called the Tesla CEO “scum” (who doesn’t air their grievances on daytime TV these days?).

According to Musk, the call was “a surprising turn” for someone who has built a career playing unapologetically humble characters. “Alec called me out of the blue,” Musk recounted during a SpaceX press conference (because, of course, where else would he drop this bombshell?). “He said he didn’t really mean it, but, you know, the damage had already been done. I think he realized I’m more of a ‘genius, eccentric billionaire’ archetype than a ‘scumbag,’ which, honestly, is progress.”

For those who just tuned in, Baldwin’s verbal barrage on   The View   seemed to stem from Musk’s various controversial ventures, which include, but are not limited to, Twitter meltdowns (sorry, X), space stunts, and his unparalleled ability to polarize the internet. Baldwin, apparently sensing that Musk deserved some choice words, took it upon himself to express what some might call humanity’s collective frustration.

But the story doesn’t end there. Musk, known for his love of lawsuits almost as much as his love of memes, has reportedly given his legal team the green light to take action against Baldwin. “Freedom of speech doesn’t mean freedom from consequences,” Musk joked. “I’m all for humor, but when the jokes are about me, there’s a price. Plus, I need something to liven up 2025.”

Baldwin has yet to publicly respond to Musk’s revelation about the apology (or the impending lawsuit), but sources close to him say he’s “considering his options.” Perhaps he’ll consult the  Saturday Night Live  writers  for material before his next move. After all, if you’re going to confront Musk, you better come prepared with more than just clever insults.

Unsurprisingly, social media has exploded with opinions. Team Baldwin loyalists argue that Musk needs to “chill out” and stop being “so lawsuit-loving.” Meanwhile, Musk fans are already thinking up hashtags like #ScumbagSlander and #JusticeForElon. The rest of us? We’re just here for the popcorn.

In the end, this saga begs the question: In such a colossal battle of egos, does anyone really win? Probably not, but it sure makes for some good headlines. Stay tuned for the inevitable Twitter thread (sorry, X), Netflix documentary, and possibly even a courtroom drama, because in 2025, this is the content we deserve.