‘RIGOROUS HONESTY’ 00s reality winner is bruised and battered in scary hospital pics as she reveals ‘shame’ of addiction – but offers hope
AMERICA’S Next Top Model star CariDee English has been praised for her brave and honest post as she continues her addiction recovery.
The 40-year-old reality star posted a string of photos on Instagram celebrating how far she’s come in her recovery, including photos of her battered and bruised in hospital three years ago.
At the time, CariDee had a relapse in her addiction, and suffered a serious head injury after an accident.
In one, CariDee can be seen smiling as she clutches onto a stroller, while another sees her sitting in a hospital bed, exposing nasty, deep purple bruises over her arms.
Now feeling happier and healthier than ever, CariDee shared the photos in the hope of inspiring others to do the same, posting a long message about the ups and downs over the past three years.
“Recovery requires rigorous honesty & relentless bravery,” she wrote.
“We are animals in this kingdom. Coming out to show where you’re wounded is one of the bravest yet unnatural steps to take. Unnatural in the sense that being vulnerable leaves you wide open for attack.”
“I snort the line of bravery and discrimination in my recovery,” she continued.
“I won’t speak for others, but I know I’m not alone.”
Noting that she’s been “slapped with a red flag” after the extensive coverage of her addiction struggles, CariDee continued: “I’m told it tarnishes my reputation, credibility & character. Shame after surviving.
“So I’m posting my survival story again to keep away my mask.”
“I belong to the misfits, black sheep and the survivors. You are my tribe, humanity is my era. Help me turn up the light on addiction,” she declared.
“Let the recovered, light the way for our wounded. Shame is an archaic, maladaptive behavior. We rehabilitate shame.”
Addressing those who may be dealing with their own addiction struggles, she wrote: “To my sisters & brothers still suffering: It’s much harder for our men to come out of the darkness & ask for help. Conditioned to “man up” & handle it. I’m sorry bb, don’t stay quiet.🎺
“Women who suffer addiction are scarlet shamed. Even in a successful recovery. Not allowing our sisters to be messy & rise from the ashes, sentences her to the stake the moment she’s unhinged. Protect her fire 🐦🔥🔥”
“Everyone has an addiction. Greed is our destiny. Voids are unavoidable. It is where dreams are made from, and what destruction is made for,” CariDee said.
“Wanting more is in our nature. However wanting more peace 🧘♀️ is far better than wanting more poison ☠️ (chemicals, work, shopping, porn, food, sex, digital ,codependency, enabling, etc)”
“All temporary solutions to the problem. The problem is: being human is a f**king beautiful, brutal buzz🌪️
“No one gets out alive w/o numbing the pain of existing…..The loophole is mastering your villain.”
“Surviving myself is heroic. Showing my scars to the shameful is OUR victory.🖕🏼I’m braver bc of this community. I love you 💕” she said.
“I choose MORE life, 1 day at a time. To live gently in my raw skin and face the ghosts in my trauma cameos.
“Suit up show up, and take on less sabotage and more sonatas 🎼”
CariDee’s Story So Far
CariDee shot to fame in 2006 when she was crowned the winner of Cycle Seven of America’s Next Top Model.
In addition to her modeling career, CariDee hosted the Oxygen reality show Pretty Wicked from 2009-2010.
She also had small acting roles on One Tree Hill and Gossip Girl, while CariDee made several appearances on the Tyra Banks Show.
In 2012, CariDee spoke out about Top Model and the lack of aftercare it provided for the models, after a fellow former star, Jael Strauss, appeared on the Dr Phil Show when her family staged an intervention for her addiction.
In a long statement, CariDee told Gawker: “I love love what I have made for myself since my win, but mentally, its horrific,” And any girl who has been on ANTM can back me up.
“No one wants to take us serious as models. I am sure the show lost its credibility in producing a top model somewhere btwn making 3 cycles a year and posing on roller coasters. Tyra wasn’t there when the cameras stopped rolling, nor did she reach out.”
“Now this isn’t Tyra’s fault.. we are all capable of becoming anything…” she later added. “I am saying it would have been a good call to have some after show support…”
Jael would tragically die from breast cancer in December 2018 at the age of 34.
